Over the course of my recent stint of joblessness, I've done a lot of different things. But the two things I've done the most of are job search, and think. And the latter has made me reflect on a few important lessons I've picked up in my 32 years on this planet - lessons I thought I would share here.

1. The way your peers define you when you’re 12 will be completely different from the way they define you when you’re 24, or 48. The trick is in realizing this yourself.
2. It’s never too late to start something. But the longer you wait to start, the more you’ll regret not starting it sooner. I started this blog in January of this year, after more than a year of people asking me why I hadn’t started a blog. I’m an editor and a writer, the theory went, I should have a blog. But I just wasn’t mentally prepared to keep up a blog enough to make it interesting, or so I kept telling myself. When I finally bit the bullet and started this thing, I realized there was nothing to fear, and no reason for me to not have started it sooner.
3. Everything in life is 95% effort, and 5% results. But if you always strive to do the things that are important to you, the 5% results will far outweigh the 95% effort.
4. You can’t change other people, and the effort you expend trying to do so will always leave you disappointed (see above).
5. No matter how much you try to be happy, there will always be times when you’re not. Ignoring the things that make you unhappy will just make it worse.
6. It’s okay to be an introvert as long as you’re smart and/or interesting, and have something useful to say when you do choose to say something.
7. Everyone can learn something from everyone else. This is because everyone you meet will be better than you at something; conversely, you will always be better at something than everyone you meet.
8. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t prepare yourself for certain things. Take buying a house, for one. I didn’t sleep a wink the weekend we bought our house, because I drove myself crazy wondering what we’d gotten ourselves into. I still wonder that, often. But I sleep more now, because I know there’s nothing I can do to prepare myself for the roof leaking, or a plumbing issue.
9. Real love only comes when you’re not looking for it. I’d heard this before and always thought it was some lame, hollow Hallmark observation. But it’s true. I’m not saying that finding the person is easy; I met the woman who is now my wife while we were living in different provinces. But the falling in love part just happened, even though neither one of us was fully prepared for it.
10. Everyone is always faking something. Your parents, friends, co-workers, your boss. The President of the United States. They’re all faking it. It’s not because they’re trying to pull a fast one over you; it’s because they’re just trying to get by in life. Nobody ever figures out everything about anything. Understand this and you will doubt yourself a lot less frequently.
11. You can't go back and change things that have happened. One day, humans will figure out time travel. Until then, this is a harsh fact of life. And you can’t always forgive and forget. But being able to move forward and not dwell on the past is often just as effective.
12. There is always a silver lining. You just have to find it. I’ve now been laid off twice in my career. The first time it happened, in my mid-twenties, I was devastated. And then, a few months later, I landed a better job for better pay. The second time I got laid off, four months ago, the sting was just as painful. But the perspective I’ve gained over the years has allowed me to think about what I want to do next and how to get there, and the time off has allowed me the chance to reach for those goals. I’m almost there.

2 comments

1. ameet on March 30, 2010 at 3:34 PM

   The best part of all of this is that you touch on the ability to accept change. For example this post does not start with the letter B..
   
   Good show man

    
2. Neil on March 31, 2010 at 5:12 PM

   Thanks for the comments, as always. Always good to know someone's reading the stuff I'm putting out there.