I just don't get you anymore. We've been together a while, and I think I've put up with a lot - your frequent need for downtime, your need to let me know every time one of my friends finds an egg on their farm or needs a fish for their tank, the fact that I actually had to ASK you to stop sharing my personal details with EVERYONE on the internet. You've always been a bit high-maintenance, but I like you. Hell, I even stopped seeing Myspace for you (though, between you and I, that wasn't too tough once I finally realized how childish and obnoxious that Tom guy's place really is).
But frankly, I've never understood your constant obsession with redecorating. Just as I've gotten used to one look, you're on to the next. If I constantly came home to find that my wife had repainted the living room walls a different colour, I think one of us would eventually end up sleeping in the basement. Yet you basically do the same thing, and you somehow get away with it.
This latest round doesn't make a lot of sense, though. Just a few months ago, you basically went through the online equivalent of redoing the floors, changing the curtains, and completely reorganizing all of your CDs from alphabetical order to the somewhat-more-esoteric "by genre." As we both know, most people thought you were nuts. They hated the new look, and to be quite honest, so did I. Still you stuck to your guns. You let people bitch - they wrote hate messages on your walls; some of them even formed groups specifically to protest against you.
Of course, most people came back. Maybe that explains why, instead of just chilling and letting people get resettled in your new space, you decided to do it all again. Some of the new changes don't even make sense. What's the deal with hiding my new messages in the corner? Are you afraid people are sending me letters about you? You've even changed the names of stuff you've kept pretty much as is. News Feed and Live Feed are now Top News and Most Recent? What the hell is that? I can start referring to my bedroom as my sleeping chambers, but it's still the room where I watch The Office reruns every night until I fall asleep.
There's one thing that really boggles my mind. You moved the logout button. I now have to click on Account, wait for the pulldown menu to appear, and then hit Logout. Seriously, what gives? If I came over to visit you, would you lock me in a closet and tell me, "the key is somewhere in that mess. If you can find it, you can leave"?
You know what I've discovered recently? There are some other pretty cool places to hang out in cyberspace besides your 'hood. Some of them even offer the same things you do, but better. I can connect with my friends through LinkedIn just as easily as I can through you, only there we talk about careers and I can meet a lot of our mutual acquaintances without having to first ask for their permission. Yep, that's right. We do grown-up stuff. And you know about Twitter, right? I can share jokes and cool links with my friends there, and even meet new people.
Anyhow, I'm not trying to make you feel insecure... especially since I'm sure that insecurity is at the root of your constant need to "improve" yourself. We're still buds, and I'll still come by for visits. But I'm going to be hanging out more with Twitter and LinkedIn.
Have fun settling in to the new space. Again.
Your pal,
Neil
